EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

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EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:09 pm

While researching Private Eye's history with Carter-Ruck, I came across a section, called Running In-Jokes, under the entry for PRIVATE EYE in Wikipedia at:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_Eye

Although I no longer see Private Eye on a regular basis these days and read only the occasional article online, it is evident that the magazine still has a number of in-jokes and convoluted references, often known only to those who have read the magazine for many years.

According to the entry in Wikipedia, "These in-jokes may consist of referring to controversies or legal ambiguities in a subtle euphemistic code, such as replacing "drunk" with "tired and emotional", or using the phrase "Ugandan discussions" to denote illicit sexual exploits, or they may consist of more obvious parodies utilising easily-recognisable stereotypes, such as the lampooning of any Conservative MP viewed to be particularly old-fashioned and bigoted as "Sir Bufton Tufton", or a variation thereof."

So following this lead, we can now say that the Tapas 9 were no doubt "tired and emotional" on the night of May 3 without causing offence to the good doctors and their pals. Those who follow the updates regularly in the GLOSSARY FOR THE MADELEINE McCANN CASE at:

http://3as.madeleinemccann.org/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=5772

already know that there we have a wide variety of names for Clarence Mitchell, Kate & Gerry McCann, and Metodo3. But, in the same spirit as Private Eye, posters, what other euphemistic expressions would you use in the McCann Case, knowing what you know now about the aggressiveness of Carter-Ruck in pursuing lawsuits?

Please post your euphemistic expressions here.

MASTER LIST OF EUPHEMISMS TO DATE

Numbers; A - D
50 yards = Total measure of yarn being spun
100% innocence = Still not sure
AWOV = Acronym for A Whiff of Violets; see also A whiff of violets about that man
A Hamlet = A tissue of fabrications, pretence, and lies
A lapse of memory = A momentary difficulty finding the right lie
A play within a play = A tissue of fabrications, pretence, and lies
A pretendy story within a pretendy story = A tissue of fabrications, pretence, and lies
A whiff of violets about that man = Underlying campy nature of that man
Abduction = Likened to a depleted bank account; see also Stolen wallet
All that support has given us a lot of strength = All that support has put lots of money into our fund
Amber Alert System = Smokescreen
Another sighting = Another diversionary tactic
Apology = Restating the facts of the rumours
Apparent inconsistencies = Lying about everything
Are cooperating with the police = Will not return to the country and answer questions, but will answer requests for interviews and hire extradition lawyers. As is their right
Arguidos = Celeb status
At worst we were naive = At best we are a pair of selfish w*nkers
Audience with the Pope = Standing in St Peter's Square, Rome, with all the other pilgrims
BAP = Acronym for Bagman and Porter
BAFTA = Acronym for Big and Fat Totally Abhorrent; see also Sister of Mercy
BS = Baloney, lies, stupid talk
Bagman and Porter = Luggage transportation specialist; see also BAP
Baron = Russell O'Brien
Beardie = Sir Richard Branson
Billy Smart's Circus = Metodo3 tracking down sightings in Morocco and Spain and intimidating witnesses; see also Cirque du Soleil
Blonde hair = Mousey, light brown hair
Brian = Prince of Wales
Brother in arms = Uncle John
CID = Acronym for Coltrane in Drag
Calm, still, quietly beautiful = Can't get off her own a*rse to look after the kids
Candid camera = Photographed or filmed with inappropriate facial expressions
Cesspits of lies = Internet forums getting periously close to the truth
Child Abuse = Sexual abuse of a child by a paedophile
Cirque du Soleil = Metodo3 tracking down sightings in Morocco and Spain; see also Billy Smart's Circus
Clarrifying Clarrie = Semantics
Clarry-fy = To spin the truth into a web of nonsense, often accompanied with words, such as "furious" and "ludicrous''
Cleaning lady = The role played by one of the Tapas 9 ladeez
Coloboma = A great marketing technique or ploy
Coltrane in Drag = Auntie Phil
Commentariat = Posters from the late Daily Mirror Hunt for Maddy Forum and the current Three Arguidos Forum
Completely untrue = Close to the truth
Concentrate on = Forget
Confident, proud, silly, strong = Being an arsehole
Continental country pile = Villa in Portugal
Cuddle Cat = Face saver
Deep Purple = David Payne
Deep Throat 2 = ?
Devout Catholics = Devout Catholics since May 3, 2007
Dining in one's back garden = Getting p*issed and into your friends in the pub down the road
Duke and Duchess of Rothschester = Gerry and Kate McCann

E - L
EasyJet = The great escape
Environmental travels = Nipping to the dump in Portugal with nappies and rotten meat
Farts & F*uck =Carter-Ruck
Feeling low = As flat as p*iss on a plate
Find Madeleine Fund = Defence costs; family holidays in Portugal
Finding my religion = Rattling collection tins outside church
Florence = Clarence Mitchell
Focus on = Forget
Fragile = Scared sh*itless
GMc = Genetically modified semen
Generous donors = Bunch of gullible idiots
Gentleman's soiree = A swinger's night out
Gerry McScam = A male sociopath, narcissist, and child killer
Getting a haircut = Destroying crucial evidence
Getting back to basics = Illicit sexual exploits; see also Ugandan discussions
Grieving = Jogging
Grilled tapas = The questioning
HAHTD = Acronym for Humping a Hydra to Death; see also Hydra slayers; Hydras
High fashion = New clothes, earrings, necklaces, and Rolex watches
High-quality wristband = An elastic band
Hurtful = Particularly close to the truth
Hurtful and unhelpful = Dangerously close to the truth
Hydra slayers = Nbrado and bjr
Hydras = Trolls with multiple ids
Independent = Paid for by the McCanns out of Madeleine's Fund; for example, the "independent" DNA tests conducted after the PJ found evidence of bodily fluids in the Renault Scenic
Intentionally targeted and kidnapped = Accidently killed and hidden
Inviting Social Services in for a cup of tea and a chat = Having the twins placed under formal arrangements with Child Protection
Ironing board = Out jogging
Job offer = Bribe
Kate and Gerry and their friends have long expected this visit by the PJ = Kate and Gerry and their friends have long dreaded this visit by the PJ
Kate and Gerry would have agreed to answer any questions, had the police wished to put anything to them = Kate and Gerry legged it from Portugal, not a moment too soon
Kate and I are 100% sure of each other's innocence = We both have perpetrator knowledge
Kate and I were heartened to learn = Clarry told us to mention it
Kate McScam = A female sociopath, narcissist, and child killer
Keyboard Capers = Gerry's Blog
Lassies = Sniffer dogs, Eddie and Keela
Last photo = Any image discussed to buggery on the Internet
Ludicrous = Quite correct; reasonable speculation on the basis of the known facts

M - R
MM = Jane Doe
McCann reconstruction = PR opportunity
McCanns welcomed the new questioning = How dare you ask us questions?
McCanntomime = Festive message slot, featuring the best boy and the old dame
McRoyalty = Greedy, greedy, greedy
Male cow dangly bits = Talking a lot of...
Marking this milestone very quietly = Headlines and Pix
Meeting with friends = Getting their story straight
Mother Superior = Susan Healy
Motherly virtues = Having a big bosom or large breasts
Mugging the pockets = Send us your money
NCMEC = National Center for the Most Easily Conned
Nodding dog = Someone who agrees with everything a pro says
Nutters = People who don't support the McCanns
Outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease = Anything Auntie Phil utters
Our own backyard = Praia da Luz
Paypal = New best friend
Pink crusader = Slayer of free speech
Pink pimp = Clarence Mitchell
Playa del Booze = Praia da Luz
Police reconstruction = Trial
Porky pies = Lies
Press release = Latest lies
Private detectives = Private dickheads
Productive meeting = Wouldn't give us the time of day
Protecting our families = Look in to my eyes, not around my eyes, into my eyes, it was an Abduction, IT WAS AN ABDUCTION
Quiet, private Christmas = A spread in a gossip magazine
Responsible parenting = Leaving your kids with no babysitter; leaving a three-year old to babysit two-year olds
Ridiculous = Close to the truth
Root and Branch = Paulo Rebelo
Rothley Sue-Age Rates = Payouts from newspapers
Route taken to Tapas bar = Pitter patter to the pitta platter

S - Z
Scotland Yarn = Scotland Yard according to Clarence Mitchell
Screws of the World = News of the World
Searching for Madeleine = Chasing the cash; cashing like mad
Sedation, sedatives, overdoses = Hey, the kids slept well last night, we could have had a hundred people party in their bedroom last night. Oh yeh, that's right we did!
Selective madness = Probable defence
Serious Farce Office = Serious Fraud Office
Settle out of court = Chur ching; add more lolly to the fund
Should have gone to Specsavers = Description of Eggman
Sindie = The Independent on Sunday
Sister of Mercy = Auntie Phil
Sniffing the onion = Pretending to cry
Spinwank = A statement prepared using a five-knuckle shuffle technique by a source close to the family; fresh batches knocked out as required
Spring cleaning = Washing curtains to destroy DNA evidence
Stolen wallet = Any unlikely event
Strong resemblance = Nothing like
Stuffed full and airtight = Tapas tupperware box
Supporting the family = Using donations for mortgage payments for an oversized house
Sue, Grabbit and Run = A law firm retained to engage in lawsuits both real and fictional; see also Farts & F*uck
Supercops = Policia Judiciária (PJ)
Swarthy man = Decoy
Taken = Deserted
Tapas restaurant = A room with a view
Tapas friends = Fellow conspirators
The Daily Getsmuchworse = The Daily Express
The Daily Lie = The Daily Mail
The Daily Sexpress = The Daily Express
The Depress = Daily Express
The friends are more than happy to co-operate fully, as are Kate and Gerry = The friends are wetting themselves at the prospect of the police interviews, as are Kate and Gerry
The grauniad = The Guardian
The great escape = EasyJet
The Indescribablyboring = The Independent
The Moron = The Daily Mirror
The Televivagraph = The Telegraph
The Torygraph = The Telegraph
The whole experience was very positive = Wouldn't give us the time of day
This has been requested = There's nothing we can do to stop it
This information is very important in the search for Madeleine = This should keep the PJ busy for the next few weeks
Tired and emotional = Oh, God, have we got to think up another lie?; drunk
To go on a pilgrimage = To go jogging
Touching the cloth = Trying to associate with a religious leader to make you look good, while you are sh*itting yourself about getting your collar felt; see also Visiting the Pope
"Trust me, I'm a doctor!" = "I'll kill anyone who questions me!"
Trying to minimise the impact of the huge media interest = Attempting to seize control of all media and destroy free, independent speech in the UK and beyond
Ugandan discussions = Illicit sexual exploits
Unhelpful = Close to the truth
Ventilation = Smashed, jemmied shutters
Vindictive = To ask a question of a McCann
Virgin LCC = Law Cost Company famous for its effective emergency money takeoff to rescue a VIP passenger with a stolen wallet
Visiting the Pope = An desperate act contrived to garner support of an increasing disinterested or unconvinced public; see also Touching Cloth
Vivacious child = Shy child
Wasting away = Spending all your time grieving (jogging) and blaming the weight loss on being upset that you misplaced your daughter while pished
We are on the bones of our a*rse = We are down to less than a million in our fund!
We're very responsible parents = So, we left the kids to go out on the lash, who doesn't?
We can't comment = We're not going to comment
We have every confidence in Metodo = Give 'em the money before they drop us in it
We will continue to search = We are at home on our backsides
We'll have her home by Christmas = Any meaningless drivel spouted in the hope of maintaining an ongoing contract
We've been working very hard = We've been out jogging and playing tennis
We've had so much support = Everybody hates us
What a nice surprise! = S*hit, the PJ are here! Bring your alibis!
Wider agenda = Any old cobblers on a flipchart presented at a meeting; new job in government; career plans
Willing to take a lie detector test = Not willing to take a lie detector test
Witch hunt = Investigation of a possible accidental death and cover-up
Last edited by HawkEyes1 on Wed May 14, 2008 8:50 am, edited 78 times in total.
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby LUCIAN DEVILLE » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:24 pm

BS

DID THAT COUnT??????
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:39 pm

I suppose it could, Lucian DeVille, but the initals give it away. I was expecting something more than that, where a phrase or a word would be completely disguised. Of course, you have already coined FACT.

Glad, however, that you have stayed on to take my challenge! I would hate to see you leave the Three Arguidos. You are one of the more colourful posters in more ways than one!

Thinking more about it, I think these initials do qualify, so it is being added to the list, Lucian.

Edited to add last sentence
Last edited by HawkEyes1 on Sat Mar 29, 2008 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby cushty » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:44 pm

Farts & F.ck for the esteemed firm of Carter-Ruck?
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:48 pm

cushty wrote:Farts & F.ck for the esteemed firm of Carter-Ruck?

A good one, cushty!

Now we are rolling....
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby BishopBrennan » Sat Mar 29, 2008 7:56 pm

Here's a couple:

"Hurtful and Unhelpful" = "Dangerously close to the truth"
"Ludicrous" = "Quite correct"
"The Find Madeleine Fund" = "Defence Costs"

That the idea?
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby cushty » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:01 pm

I seem to be the only one playing

but that's (my) life

ROB = Baron

obviously David Payne must be Deep Purple, so we can have our own in-joke (unless .... you don't think .........no, surely not ...... :shock: )
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby bigmummy » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:04 pm

talking a lot of ...male cow dangly bits
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:06 pm

Does anyone know yet who is DEEP THROAT 2?

That one also will be for the record books, when all is revealed.
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:08 pm

BishopBrennan wrote:Here's a couple:

"Hurtful and Unhelpful" = "Dangerously close to the truth"
"Ludicrous" = "Quite correct"
"The Find Madeleine Fund" = "Defence Costs"

That the idea?

Marvellous, BishopBrennan, that is exactly what I had in mind!
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby bigmummy » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:10 pm

trolls with multiple ids HYDRAS
SUPERCOPS....PJ

KEYBOARD CAPERS....GERRYS BLOG
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:11 pm

cushty wrote:I seem to be the only one playing

but that's (my) life

ROB = Baron

obviously David Payne must be Deep Purple, so we can have our own in-joke (unless .... you don't think .........no, surely not ...... :shock: )


Would Deep Purple be the same as Deep Throat 2, cushty?

If so, you may have supplied a good candidate.
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby HawkEyes1 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:12 pm

bigmummy wrote:trolls with multiple ids HYDRAS
SUPERCOPS....PJ

KEYBOARD CAPERS....GERRYS BLOG

Many thanks, bigmummy, now we are cooking....
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby bigmummy » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:14 pm

SNIFFING THE ONION....PRETENDING TO CRY
MUGGING THE POCKETS......SEND US YOUR MONEY
RESPONSIBLE PARENTING........LEAVING YOUR KIDS WITH NO BABYSITTER
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Re: EUPHEMISMS TO AVOID LAWSUITS

Postby cushty » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:18 pm

cuddle cat = face saver

Tapas freinds = fellow conspirators

press release = latest lies
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