Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

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Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby whatatangledweb » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:28 pm

I really would like to know what you all think about this. I am normally very open with my kids but this is a difficult one for me.
My 14 year old daughter asked me tonight at what age did I first make love..(well the honest answer is very young and I would want her to wait till she was older than that) I am confused as to what I should say to her because if I tell her the truth she might think I'm saying it's OK to do so at an early age and I now think one should wait till one is much older. But on the other hand I don't want to lie to her. My kids already know that I was a teenager of the hippy times..had the pill available and didn't have to worry about aids. The teenagers today have to be (and are) so much more serious, with the worry of aids. Yet she is very sensible because when her older sister changed boyfriends she said to her I hope you are both going to have an aids test (which they did by the way)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRsJlAJvOSM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRvgK6M2_ ... re=related
we will gain truth and justice for a little girl who has no voice
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby kerry » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:27 pm

Why not tell her that some things are personal and private and that times have changes a lot since you were a teenager. You, basically only worried about getting pregnant but she has to think about lots more std's such as chlamydia, herpes, cervical cancer and aids. As long as you were over the legal age when you had sex then you can say you hope she waits at least until then but hopefully longer as more can go wrong , healthwise, these days.
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby mumof5 » Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:08 am

Difficult .....
But perhaps don't tell her the exact age you were, just say that on reflection you were too young and you would like for her to wait.... mentioning of course, unwanted pregnancies, STD's, self respect etc.

I think if my teenage daughter were to ask me (although cannot see her doing - not yet in any case - as does not seem interested in having a boyfriend yet, shopping for clothes and make up is her passion lol), I would be comfortable telling her the truth - I was nineteen and it was with her Father .... the only man I have ever slept with LOL...... and we are still happy now and I am 36. :shock:
CADAVER DOGS CAN'T TELL LIES !
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby columbosstogey » Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:51 am

Crikey that brings back memories.

I had the same conversation with one of my daughters many moons ago.

I told her the truth, although i was 17 on my first experience.

We just discussed all the fores and against of having early sex anyway, like other posters have said. I was always very open with my girls, and neither got into trouble as they grew up. Now they are 37 and 35 and we still talk to each other about everything and anything.

I think if you have an open and honest relationship with her, she will be ok, as she will feel able to discuss anything that might be bothering her etc.

We survived and I have a great relationship and some lovely grand kids, one of whom is 15 now and asking me similiar questions about sex as she cant speak to her mum about her (my daughter in law).

What comes around goes around so quickly.

Good luck.
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby whatatangledweb » Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:41 pm

Thankyou every body..you've helped me a lot because I was really flumoxed there. I will take a mixture of every ones posts because all three of you said things which I thought were good. :bounce: :bounce:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRsJlAJvOSM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRvgK6M2_ ... re=related
we will gain truth and justice for a little girl who has no voice
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby Mr.Shifter » Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:03 pm

I have a 14 year old daughter too - hope I'm not going to get that question :shock:

I would say something like ' It's not how old I was but the fact that it was with a man that I had known for some time (he was my boyfriend for quite a while), I felt safe with him, we thought about and used birth control (which also protected us from STD's), we trusted each other and I had planned to spend the rest of my life with him (that didn't happen though), blah, blah'

HTH
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby OoBubblesoO » Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:12 pm

Kids of today will try it no matter what we say to them. Its a sad fact.

I told both my boys from a very early age, all about sex. But I also warned them about sexual diseases and girls who pretend they're pregnant so the boy's guard is down. I was never taught anything and as a result, fell pregnant at 16.

I think 14 is a good age to sit your daughter down and have a good woman to teen chat. Tell her what you expect of her and how things can go wrong at such a tender age. I wouldn't force her to take the pill, but I would chat about that too and let her make her own mind up.

I've found that, the more open you are with your children, the more they respect that and do as you would expect them to. Mine are now 18 (in two days) and 20 (in three weeks) and neither of them are fathers yet. Oldest is sexually active but youngest has more sense lol :lol:
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Re: Mothers with teenage daughters, what would you say?

Postby Elemental » Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:20 pm

I don't think being honest with her would be the end of the world. If you regret being so young then tell her that, explain why and hope that she takes it on board. Leave the door open for her to come to you with other issues, if you shut down on this one she may feel that she can't talk to you and will talk to her friends instead :?

My mother was never honest with me, but it didn't stop me having sex way too young.
Let that be a lesson to one and to all, a person is a person, no matter how small.
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